Hearing loss can affect many aspects of your daily life. Neglected hearing loss, for instance, can affect your professional life, your favorite pastimes, and even your relationships. For couples who are struggling with hearing loss, communication can become tense. This can cause increased stress, more arguments, and even the growth of animosity. If neglected, in other words, hearing loss can have a significantly negative impact on your relationship.
So how are relationships impacted by hearing loss? In part, these difficulties happen because the parties aren’t aware of the hearing loss. Hearing loss usually is, after all, a slowly advancing condition. Consequently, you (and your partner) might not detect that hearing loss is the root cause of your communication problems. Practical solutions might be difficult to find as both partners feel increasingly alienated.
Often, a diagnosis of hearing loss along with practical strategies from a hearing specialist can help couples begin communicating again, and better their relationships.
Can hearing loss affect relationships?
When hearing loss is in the early phases, it can be hard to identify. This can result in significant misunderstandings between couples. Consequently, there are a few common issues that develop:
- Intimacy may suffer: Communication in a relationship is often the basis of intimacy. And when that communication becomes harder, all parties might feel more distant from each other. Increased tension and frustration are frequently the result.
- Feeling ignored: When somebody doesn’t respond to what you say, you’re likely to feel disregarded. This can frequently occur when one partner is suffering from hearing loss and doesn’t know it. Feeling like your partner is not paying attention to you isn’t good for long-term relationship health.
- Arguments: Arguments are pretty common in pretty much all relationships. But when hearing loss is present, those arguments can become even more aggravating. For some couples, arguments will ignite more frequently because of an increase in misunderstandings. Hearing loss associated behavioral changes, like requiring volumes to be painfully loud, can also become a source of tension
- Couples frequently confuse hearing loss for “selective hearing”: Selective hearing is what happens when someone hears “we’re having cake for dessert” very distinctly, but somehow does not hear “we need to take out the garbage before we eat”. Sometimes, selective hearing is totally unintended, and in others, it can be a conscious choice. One of the most frequent effects of hearing loss on a spouse is that they may start to miss words or certain phrases will seem garbled. This can sometimes result in tension and resentment because one spouse mistakes this for “selective hearing”.
These problems will frequently start before anyone is diagnosed with hearing loss. If somebody doesn’t know that hearing loss is at the root of the problem, or if they are ignoring their symptoms, feelings of resentment could get worse.
Living with a person who is dealing with loss of hearing
If hearing loss can create so much conflict in a relationship, how can you live with someone who is dealing with hearing loss? This will only be an issue for couples who aren’t willing to develop new communication strategies. Here are some of those strategies:
- Patience: When you’re aware that your partner has hearing loss, patience is especially important. You might need to change the way you speak, like raising your volume for instance. You may also have to speak more slowly. This type of patience can be challenging, but it can also drastically improve the effectiveness of your communication.
- As much as possible, try to look directly into the face of the person you’re talking with: For somebody who is dealing with hearing loss, face-to-face communication can give an abundance of visual cues. You will be supplying your partner with body language and facial cues. And with increased eye contact it will be easier to preserve concentration. This supplies your partner with more information to process, and that usually makes it easier to understand your intent.
- Make use of different words when you repeat yourself: Typically, you will try to repeat what you said when your partner doesn’t hear you. But try switching the words you use instead of using the same words. Hearing loss can affect some frequencies of speech more than others, which means some words might be harder to understand (while others are easier). Your message can be strengthened by changing the words you use.
- Help your partner get used to their hearing aids: This can include things like taking over tasks that cause significant anxiety (like going to the grocery store or making phone calls). You can also ask your partner’s hearing specialist if there are ways you can help them get used to their hearing aids.
- Encourage your partner to come in for a hearing exam: Your partner’s hearing loss can be controlled with our help. Many areas of tension will fade away and communication will be more effective when hearing loss is well managed. Safety is also an issue with hearing loss because it can cause you to fail to hear the doorbell, phone, and smoke alarm. It may also be hard to hear oncoming traffic. We can help your partner better regulate any of these potential concerns.
What happens after you get diagnosed?
Hearing assessments are generally non-invasive and quite simple. Usually, you will simply put on a pair of headphones and listen for specific tones. You will be better able to manage your symptoms and your relationships after you get a diagnosis.
Take the hearing loss related tension out of your relationship by encouraging your partner to come see us for a hearing test.
